An Atypical Friendship

Best Buddies was the first organization I got involved in on campus this year and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Best Buddies is an organization that pairs a typical person with an atypical or "disabled" person. (The use of the words "normal" and "disabled" is discouraged in this group because of their negative connotations in the atypical community.) The pair spend time together at least once a month and basically just befriend each other. There are also big group events like a Halloween party and a Valentine's Day party.

My buddy's name is Amy and she is 34 years old. I don't know her diagnosis, nor do I care to know because it's not important. It is not what defines her, it is just a challenge she must deal with and one small aspect of the wonderful person she is. I can never have a conversation with her without smiling or laughing and she is more caring than many of the friends I've had throughout my life. We couldn't have been a better match.

From day one, we hit it off. We have similar interests in music, movies, shopping and more. We talk on the phone multiple times a week and share stories about our days. She continues to show me how "typical" of a life people with disabilities can lead, just with some modifications. She lives with her mom, but she has a job wrapping pastries/cookies in her local market in Plano and has a steady boyfriend. She also volunteers multiple times a week and is on a bowling league.

I recently went bowling with Amy and her boyfriend and was amazed at how well she bowled. My preconceived notions of her abilities fell into the gutters, but her bowling balls rolled smoothly down the lanes. She bowled three strikes in a row on her three frames and I found myself feeling guilty for doubting that she had bowling talent before I even watched her just because of her disability.

The more time I spend with her, the more I realize that preconceived notions of atypical people are extremely prevalent in our society and can be very hurtful. I went out to dinner with Amy and the hostess did not even bother to give Amy a menu because she assumed that Amy wouldn't be able to read it. The server also proceeded to ask me what she wanted to eat, instead of asking her. I know that neither of those things was done to be intentionally cruel, but Amy told me after dinner was over how much it hurt her, but it was something that happened often.

No matter what differences seem to be present in someone, we need to try our best to look past what we see and realize that they are generally much more capable then we presume. Instead of assuming their inabilities, assume that they are able and treat them like you would treat anyone else. Amy has taught me this incredibly valuable lesson and it has changed the way I look at people who are different than me. She has shown me how to not only love all kinds of people, but to assume the best in people and embrace differences.

I know not everyone will get the same opportunity to experience a friendship with someone atypical, but I hope that in passing or in a quick exchange with someone who is atypical, that my friends, family, and anyone who reads this can assume ability instead of disability and see past the difference, like Amy has taught me to do.